the sea saw diaries

Dear Friend,

I am bringing things to a close now.

It is not my intention to neatly package these last months of my life—the moment that becomes possible, I fear my trip will have lost some of its most important value.

But I am striving to end this chapter well, and as such, I wanted to write a letter to you, my reader, seeing as how your part in this whole equation ended up making it vastly more edifying for me than I ever dared imagine.

My mother will testify to the fact that I was born ready to say things to this world—I babbled to it and chatted with it and sang it my own songs from an absurdly young age.

I imagine naptimes must have been the highlight of my mom’s days, if for no other reason than I was unable to verbalize every emotional response I had to the world every moment that I had it.

The strength and voracity with which these words and responses and reflections spin themselves inside me used to seem such a cluttered, heavy burden to carry—their weight was something I often found myself fighting against.

But ever so slowly, they are something I am coming to respect.

There is a familiarity to the way a thought will tremble something awful inside me, itching all over to be realized and articulated and given pause.

And I think I just might be learning to actually seek outlets for them, not least of which has been this very blog, created simply to document the ways in which the world romanced me and broke my heart as I sailed its seas for a semester.

I must admit, I underestimated the great gift I would be giving myself in taking the time to record and post my varied thoughts and experiences along the way, and also the great joy it would be for me to share them with you (the very fact that I have people who care enough for me to read my thoughts has not ceased to astound me to a continual gratitude).

The great debate is, of course, whether or not to continue blogging life at home, and I have wrestled with this over and over.

While I recognize I still have a great many things I’d like to say to the world, I know this next season will be very different from the previous one, and as of now, it’s one I can’t help but picture blog-less.

Perhaps I will miss it more than I imagine, or find myself a profoundly healthier person for having blogged than not, and in that case, I won’t hesitate to start again (and will let you know when I do).

But for now, cheers to a fantastic few months, and blessings to you on your own journey.

You are lovely to have read, and I sincerely hope that the beauty and brokenness of this world may find unexpected ways of changing you, whatever the chapter you find yourself in now.

Love. Anna