the sea saw diaries

So one thing I had every intention of blogging regularly about, and have failed massively at actually following through on, is food in port.

This is due in large part to the fact that a great deal of the time, we have no idea what we’re eating (there are moments when I think this is for the best).

Menus aren't often in English, and it’s a rare day when you have a waiter who can speak a semblance of broken English, which means it's really a wonder we ever order anything at all.

On occasion, there does happen to be an English menu that’s completely misspelled, and we end up almost peeing our pants attempting to order “Fnied Schnimp with Siggling Onions” while keeping a straight face. And I kid you not when I say there was a dish on the menu in China called “The Palace Explodes the Diced Chicken”—I was tempted to order it, but I passed (I’m not sure how my stomach generally feels about exploded chicken).

Sometimes, we use our own brand of food sign language. Other times, the menu has pictures to point at or you gesture to a kind local eating next to you, who’s vastly more knowledgeable regarding a good order than you could ever be.

And then there was one time in India, where we walked into a restaurant that I’m pretty convinced no foreigner had ever been before—everyone there spoke Tamil (and Tamil exclusively). By the time we sat down to eat, we were so hot and tired and hungry, and there were no menus.

We talked to the waiter man for a minute as if he had absolutely no problem understanding English. Of course he didn’t understand, and began to talk at us, as if we could understand perfect Tamil, which we (shockingly) couldn't.

So I smile widely, and we enter a staring contest of sorts, the waiter and I just looking at each other, until he shakes his head, mutters something, and walks away.

But you know what, he ended up bringing out a perfectly delicious spread for us, and while it’s not the most dignified way of ordering food at a restaurant, it worked in a pinch.

Now for food in China (as I was at my most adventurous in this port).

I had my first bite of duck brain in China—extremely rich and buttery.

And I also really enjoyed eating lotus root, which is a vegetable that has a texture similar to that of an apple, but tastes like nothing I’ve ever had before.

Martin also took us a Sichuan hot-pot restaurant before we left Beijing, and it was hands-down THE spiciest food I have ever had in my life. This is not Mexican salsa spicy or even Indian curry spicy—this is otherworldly, tingly-mouth, cleansing-sweat spicy.

Our waitress brought out this huge pot of dark red broth that rested on a burner in the middle of our table. Floating atop the liquid we had affectionately titled “the witch’s brew” were four whole frogs (at least six inches in length each). Once the chili-broth started to boil, we tossed in all kinds of raw meat and vegetables, they cooked, and then we picked miscellaneous items out of the pot with our chopsticks—it was something like a very spicy grab bag, and you never knew just what you might end up with. 

Martin, of course, was absolutely dying of laughter watching our facial reactions to our mouths being completely aflame. But it wasn’t all that long before he started digging in and began sweating bullets himself (he admitted it was pretty spicy).

I must tell you that the frog was absolutely wonderful, and I quite enjoyed it. I would have it again if I ever got the opportunity (granted my taste buds were essentially charred from the spicy, but texture-wise I thought it very pleasant).

One last random thing I tried while in China was “Blueberry Breeze” flavored Pringles, (which were absurdly wide spread in the grocery marts and convenient stores). They were like what you might imagine salted fruit loops would taste—quite bizarre and something I never feel the need to try again.

So there you are for fun food in China!

I very much anticipate wonderful sushi in Japan, and Allie and I are already assembling a list of things we can’t wait to enjoy once we get home. Sometimes we lie in bed at night and ask each other “if you could have anything to eat right now, what would it be?”

It’s a game that normally ends with a burrito, a tuna sandwich, or chocolately-chip teddy grahams.

Love. Anna