Uncovered Redux

I had an earnest prayer coming on this voyage.

I shared it with a few dear confidants.

I asked God to teach me to be comfortable in every bit of my own skin.

Then I got on a boat.

And waited in expectation.

I would like to share with you what I uncovered.

From the middle-aged women walking topless on the beach in Spain to the Ghanaian girls shaking their belly rolls in perfect time with the beating drums to the midriff-bearing grannies of India, I began to realize that there might not exist another culture in the world with more cruel and absurd ideas about bodies than our own. And I’m convinced the implications of this are hugely profound.

At the end of the day, skin and bones are far to universal a thing to warrant the hyperawareness that invades the hearts of most every girl I know from my generation.

In spite of my earnest prayers, I never awoke in the morning to brush the eye crusties aside, take a good look in the mirror, and remark on just how incredibly comfortable with myself I happen to be—that day never came. I was hardly surprised by it because a change like that would have been far too easy and vastly unsatisfying for someone as complicated as I am.

Oh but He taught me!

In the middle of this all, He taught me how to breathe deeper and laugh harder and weep for things that matter in the world. He broke my heart for things bigger than stretch marks, and frustrated me for things larger than a longing for petite-ness. He taught me to open myself to an entirely new way of understanding bodies—that they are not to be hated or worshiped, but rather viewed as vessels through which we have the privilege of experiencing this world.

Lately, I’ve settled myself on words from a favorite book of mine—“We can never arrive, we can only become”—they hold the simplicity needed to remind me that this particular race is without a cleanly marked finish line. But I’m walking the journey anyway…so that I may know the fullness and joy that is found in and through growth and change and grace.

I am being made new.

I am a becoming woman.

Love. Anna